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Lori Gottlieb Jane found an apartment within two weeks for her and her son, but said she does not want to hear from me ever again, despite the fact that we both really love each other.

And if that door has indeed closed for good, the ability to cultivate compassionate understanding will be useful in any relationship that follows. You might share this in a letter to her, so that she can read it on her own and take the time she needs to process it. wanteed

Am I being unreasonable to expect Jane to see the benefits of our relationship despite not being able to live together with me for the next year or two? After a few years, I wanted to take what felt like the natural next step in our relationship—living together. I wannted so alone and sad without her.

He says that he loves and misses me, but he seems to have no understanding of the impact this has had on me and the extent of the damage done. Yes to us. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Yes, I see you. I do not want to lose Jane and miss her terribly, but I believe I had no other choice.

In other words, you say you had no choice, but you actually had many choices—and you made the choice that would damage the trust between you and Jane and hurt her deeply. Anonymous Los Angeles, Calif. Yes, you matter.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. We wanted to be together forever, and this felt like an exciting new chapter in our lives.

We immediately became a couple, and enjoyed doing so many things together. Yes to creating a life together.

I do not see why Jane and I cannot continue to see each other; have dinners together; go to restaurants, clubs, plays, jn movies; and take a couple of vacations together. And every time you have the knee-jerk reaction that you have no choice, remind yourself that you have an abundance of choices available to you, and that you can choose to say no, but you can also choose to say yes: Yes, I love y.

I have told her of many older couples who, for various reasons—children, finances, personal habits—choose to live not together, love near enough to still have a vibrant relationship. Unfortunately, because she was so angered by the choice I had to make, she continues to tell me that she never wants to see me again.