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She suggests talking to a different friend or a family member about the chemistry you've experienced with your friend's partner. I spoke to relationship expert Anita A. If you are dating someone, remind yourself of all of their positive qualities. Giphy While you don't want how you're feeling to get back to the friend ftiendgf question, keeping the secret completely to yourself isn't the best idea, either. By Jamie Kravitz July 18, Your best friend has impeccable taste.

If you have a crush on your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend, here's what to do

If you think you might be judged or you're worried they'll tell, consider discussing your feelings with a therapist instead. If you have chemistry and secrecy, the only thing missing is the emotional connection. Sometimes, though, your bestie uses her talents to find the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend for herself, and you can't help but be a little envious of their relationship. That's why it's important to lookiny mindful of the kinds of conversations you have loooking the information you share with your friend's partner, according to Chlipala.

My boyfriend, his best friend, and me: a love story

Especially if you spend a lot of time with them both, you might notice some chemistry between you and your best friend's ificant other. If you find yourself thinking about a good friend's partner in a romantic way, don't freak out. Giphy As much as you can, you should try to get some distance from this person. People get themselves into trouble because they assume they're not 'that type' of person It's critical that you avoid involving your friend or her ificant other any further.

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If anyone questions your behavior, you can say that you're just trying to branch out and strengthen your connections with other friends in your life. You are not a 'friend of the relationship' if you are actively fueling your feelings," says Chlipala. While it can be tempting to go after your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend, as long as they're together, that person is off limits. More like this. You don't have to make your attempts at getting distance obvious in order for them to be effective.

But you have a lot of power and control to friendvf fuel these feelings and fantasies. So if you find yourself crushing on a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend, here are four steps you can take to ensure the situation doesn't get out of hand. Also, think about the consequences that cheating would have on your other relationships, like with your mutual friends.


Focus on finding your own special someone. It's one thing to have a crush frienvgf your friend's boyfriend or girlfriendbut it's another thing entirely to act on those feelings. You could potentially lose your ificant other, your friend, her ificant other, and the rest of your social circle if you act on these feelings. If you're constantly thinking about how great he or she is, what a good partner they make, or how it would feel to kiss them, try w to let those daydreams run wild.

You trust her choice in clothes, restaurants, and even potential partners. Talking to someone about your crush can actually help you keep your beliefs and fantasies in check.

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It's just one of the many reasons you enjoy having her in your life. Tell a different friend or a family member about your feelings. Consider the consequences of cheating.

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There's not a type fridndgf cheats," Chlipala says. Even if you have good intentions, telling one or both of them about your feelings could make the situation much worse.

Keep your distance from him or her. If she isn't, don't do it — unless lookong are willing to lose her and potentially other friends to that relationship. Don't sit by them and don't seek them out if you're at a party.

They'll probably be hyper-alert that something may happen between you and their partner, and you may lose a friend. Lookingg have thoughts such as, "we're just flirting, no big deal," or "we're just friends. If you're in a relationship, reinvest the energy from your fantasies into your own relationship," says Chlipala.

Even if you aren't physically acting on your feelings, remember that you could be having an emotional affair. She has advice about who it's lookinv to share your secret feelings with, lookjng potentially uncomfortable situations you can avoid, and how you should proceed if the two do eventually break up. This would be within your friend's right as you are a threat to their relationship.

In the event that they do break up, after an appropriate amount of time you can ask your friend if she is OK with you dating her ex.

Try not to cause group situations to feel awkward. You may want to avoid accepting some invitations where he or she will be present until your feelings bes subsided," says Chlipala.

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Giphy While some of these solutions might sound extreme, Chlipala has over a decade of experience working with people lookking have cheated, and she can map out how most people fall into emotional and physical affairs. Giphy "If you're single, make sure you're dating and meeting potential partners. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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